Monday, August 19, 2013

A Good Day to Die Hard

A Good Day to Die Hard directed by John Moore, starring Bruce Willis and Jai Courtney.

So this is how I think this movie came about.  Somewhere in Hollywood there was a script lying around about a father who goes to Russia to see his son who got locked up for killing a  person and then the high jink action that ensues from everything.  Then everything that happens after just boils down into the standard action movie from here on out.  Anyway there was this producer who didn't really think much of this script but he got this bright idea that if they change the name of the main character to John McClane they would have another Die Hard movie on their hands.  With those words, Die Hard floating around in head, he went and pitched the idea to other producers around him, to lots of praise and adulation, I can only imagine.  I'm guessing this event only sparked the other producers to rush and find old action scripts lying around to see if they could do the same thing.  Never has the phrase Die Hard on a plane, Die Hard on a boat, Die Hard in a city, Die Hard in a rest home become more literal than this...Die Hard in Russia. 

This movie has no connection with the original Die Hard movie nor any even any connections with the original trilogy of Die Hard movies nor do I think it even cares.  The fourth Die Hard movie is excluded because I think the same thing happened with that screenplay that happened with this one.

The action that takes place here is so over-the-top and insane that I just found myself laughing at the total hilarity of it all as it pays more homage to Tom and Jerry and the Road Runner and Wiley Coyote cartoons than the Die Hard movies. I'm completely serious about that it plays out like an action porn movie than.  Let's see a little bit of story line and acting scene before we suddenly break out into some action that seems purposely put there just because they needed an action scene.  Much like porn movies have sex scenes randomly inserted into their "movies" of plot lines and dialogue.  They serve no purpose to storyline or character but to full fill some inner desire of self gratification.

This movie is so bad it becomes an unintentional comedy.  I also love it when the bad guys are so crazy about killing people, or anything, that they just randomly shoot anyone who gets in their way.  But when they have McClane and his son with their hands tied behind their backs suddenly they decide not just pull out a gun and shoot them.  Instead they do what?  Talk and act completely the opposite of how they were acting just moments before.  It makes absolutely no sense.  Somehow I found myself wondering back to the first Die Hard movie and thinking there is no way Hans Gruber would just sit around talking to McClane if he had a chance to kill him.  And do you know why?  Because Hans Gruber was a killer.  These guys in this movies are just two bit punks and nothing more.

A good friend of mine told me something about action movies: the hero is always defined by his villain.  Which means a hero needs a good villain.  I was thinking this over.  Die Hard: McClane had Hans Gruber.  Robocop: Robocop had Dick Jones and Clarence Boddicker.  Total Recall (the original violent 1990 version not the watered down remake): Quaid had Richter, Helm, and Vilos Cohaagen.  Predator: Dutch had the silent but extremely deadly Predator whose presence was imposing.  Aliens: Ellen Ripley had the silent but deadly aliens and Carter Burke.  This movie has no memorable villains at all and is merely worth seeing just so you can see how badly and desperate the Die Hard series has ended up.  This movie is merely a passing shadow of its former glory.

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